I have just finished to read my first book yesterday afternoon when I was at work. I found interesting to hear about children's voices regarding their issue based on the fact that one of their parents was gay (either dad or mom). I really enjoyed reading those witnesses because that allow to me having an opinion regarding my research on gay parent and their influence on their children's sexual orientation. However,what I do not understand from all stories are the following points they have all in common.
First, all parents were married, have children, and then divorced because they have to follow their orientation. On other words, it was time for them to be happy and now for real. So, they realized that OK they have another sexual orientation and so? what they did not think about it before getting married?
Why waiting during so long to get happy one day? why lying to yourself? Live in a fake live and try to have a family they do not belong to? ( I means everyone has the right to create his own type of family but what I say is that why hurting others?).
Second, most parents are in the 37 to 40 ages. It is during this average of age that they realize it.
Why they accept to have in a fake life for so long? Did they think about those children and wives and husbands left behind?
I want say that they have to live also for the rest of their life to other and make them happy that will be no fair. What I try to find is a way to avoid so much wastes for nothing.
Those are the type of question I would like to answers next.
Also, I would like to make more research on the following other points.
1. Those children suffer a lot because of the society around of them which was completely ignorant and fake.
2. They do not "know" if they will be gay tomorrow even if they respond clearly by saying I am " Straight." All they feel is the pain their parents went over because of their sexual orientation. They said they are straight because and I am pretty sure that it is because of the fact that their parents hard time to be accepted by the society. In fact they do not want to go over it again because that hard time they had to face it too.
3. There is an eventual consequence which may occurs in those children' lives ( who have a gay parent) because their parents wait until getting around 40 years old to be free, and they may wait also around the same age to declare their real sexuality.
4. They suffered a lot from their peers judgments a the religion which banish this type of sexual act. Children were unable to talk to people in their surrounding because they did not want anyone about what was happening in their life at this time at school.
In sum, that is a great book but I need more information. For instance, researching around of people of 37 or 40 years old to above who had or have a gay parents and see if we can answer to questions stated above.
Hi Carene,
ReplyDeleteYou pose some thoughtful questions here about what would make people "come out" after they are in a straight marriage and have children.
It may be helpful to find some information about people who come out later in life, and the reasons as to why they do so. That would give you some of the answers that you are looking for.
I will say that not all gay and lesbian parents have children from "straight" marriages, though. Some adopt (depending on the state/country that they live in). Lesbian couples can do in vitro fertilization.
When was the book that you have published, BTW? That may explain why all of the children interviewed come from the same type of family situation.
During your research, it may be a good idea to see if anyone did a study on this...did anyone calculate the percentage of children in gay/lesbian families who are the biological children of one partner from a previous marriage, versus all of the other options?
Keep me posted...
Sincerely,
Professor Wexelbaum
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI will work on your advices and I will check for the percentage of children in gay/lesbian families who are the biological children of one partner from a previous marriage. Also, I have a question regarding the in vitro fertilization for my personal record. How they are doing this? I mean one of the parents chooses to mix his/her gametes or the fetus is complete from foreign parents?
Thank you,
I can wait to hear about your opinions an thoughts.
Hi Carene,
ReplyDeleteIn regard to in vitro fertilization, gay and lesbian parents achieve this in different ways. Lesbian parents will select a sperm donor, and gay male parents will need someone to donate an egg.
Lesbian parents also have children via artificial insemination. In other words, a sperm donor is selected (either someone they know, or someone who donated sperm to a sperm bank), one partner decides to be the biological mother, and she is inseminated with the sperm.
But you will learn more about this in your research, I am sure!
Sincerely,
Professor Wexelbaum
Hi Rachel
ReplyDeleteThank you to clarify the process to me!